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كاتب الموضوع رسالة nermeen ahmed kamal نجم الجماهير
عدد الرسائل : العمر : تاريخ التسجيل : 30/07/2008
nermeen ahmed kamal نجم الجماهير
عدد الرسائل : العمر : تاريخ التسجيل : 30/07/2008 A store owner was tacking a sign above his door that read: "Puppies For Sale". Signs like that have a way of attracting small children and sure enough, a little boy appeared under the store owner's sign. "How much are you going to sell the puppies for?" he asked. The store owner replied, "Anywhere from $30 to $50." The little boy reached in his pocket and pulled out some change. "I have $2.37," he said. "Can I please look at them?" The store owner smiled and whistled and out of the kennel came Lady, who ran out in the aisle of his store followed by five teeny, tiny balls of fur. One puppy was lagging considerably behind. Immediately the little boy singled out the lagging, limping puppy and said, "What's wrong with that little dog?" The store owner explained that the veterinarian had examined the little puppy and had discovered it didn't have a hip socket. It would always be lame. The little boy became excited. "That is the puppy that I want to buy." The store owner said, "No, you don't want to buy that little dog. If you really want him, I'll just give him to you." The little boy got quite upset. He looked straight into the store owner's eyes, pointing his finger, and said, "I don't want you to give him to me. That little dog is worth every bit as much as all the other dogs and I'll pay full price. In fact, I'll give you $2.37 now, and 50 cents a month until I have him paid for." The store owner countered, "You really don't want to buy this little dog. He is never going to be able to run and jump and play with you like the other puppies." To his surprise, the little boy reached down and rolled up his pant leg to reveal a badly twisted, crippled left leg supported by a big metal brace. He looked up at the store owner and softly replied, "Well, I don't run so well myself, and the little puppy will need someone who understands." Don't we all need someone who understands
nermeen ahmed kamal نجم الجماهير
عدد الرسائل : العمر : تاريخ التسجيل : 30/07/2008 Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market. One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe), He started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river. As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, "Is this your computer ?" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, "No." She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his. Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!" Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his. The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes." The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give Him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer Asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?" The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM !". So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!! ******** Moral :If you're not up-to-date with technology trends, it's better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're a fool than to open your mouth and remove ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .......
nermeen ahmed kamal نجم الجماهير
عدد الرسائل : العمر : تاريخ التسجيل : 30/07/2008 Years ago, a farmer owned land along the Atlantic seacoast. He constantly advertised for hired hands. Most people were reluctant to work on farms along the Atlantic . They dreaded the awful storms that raged across the Atlantic , wreaking havoc on the buildings and crops. As the farmer interviewed applicants for the job, he received A steady stream of refusals. Finally, a short, thin man, well past middle age, approached the farmer. "Are you a good farm hand?" the farmer asked him. "Well, I can sleep when the wind blows," answered the little man. Although puzzled by this answer, the farmer, desperate for help, Hired him. The little man worked well around the farm, busy from dawn to dusk, and the farmer felt satisfied with the man's work. Then one night the wind howled loudly in from offshore. Jumping out of bed, the farmer grabbed a lantern and rushed next door to the hired hand's sleeping quarters. He shook the little man and yelled, "Get up! A storm is coming! Tie things down before they blow away!" The little man rolled over in bed and said firmly, "No sir. I told you, I can sleep when the wind blows." Enraged by the response, the farmer was tempted to fire him on the spot. Instead, he hurried outside to prepare for the storm. To his amazement, he discovered that all of the haystacks had been covered with tarpaulins. The cows were in the barn, the chickens were in the coops, and the doors were barred. The shutters were tightly secured. Everything was tied down. Nothing could blow away. The farmer then understood what his hired hand meant, so he returned to his bed to also sleep while the wind blew. ****** ******
nermeen ahmed kamal نجم الجماهير
عدد الرسائل : العمر : تاريخ التسجيل : 30/07/2008
nermeen ahmed kamal نجم الجماهير
عدد الرسائل : العمر : تاريخ التسجيل : 30/07/2008 There was once a little bird who decided to rebel against tradition, and when it came time to fly south for the winter, he decided to stay behind. All the other birds flew south for the warmer weather, leaving the rebellious one alone.
nermeen ahmed kamal نجم الجماهير
عدد الرسائل : العمر : تاريخ التسجيل : 30/07/2008
nermeen ahmed kamal نجم الجماهير
عدد الرسائل : العمر : تاريخ التسجيل : 30/07/2008
nermeen ahmed kamal نجم الجماهير
عدد الرسائل : العمر : تاريخ التسجيل : 30/07/2008 When one Guru was dying, one of his deciple asked him "Guruji, who was your master?"He said, "I had thousands of masters. If I just relate their names it will take months, years and it is too late. But three masters I will certainly tell you about. One was a thief. Once I got lost in the desert, and when I reached a village it was very late, everything was closed. But at last I found one man who was trying to make a hole in t he wall of a house. I asked him where I could stay and he said 'At this time of night it will be difficult, but you can say with me - if you can stay with a thief'.And the man was so beautiful. I stayed for one month! And each night he would say to me, 'Now I am going to my work. You rest, you pray.' When he came back I would ask 'Could you get anything?' He would say, 'Not tonight. But tomorrow I will try again, God willing.' He was never in a state of hopelessness, he was always happy. When I was meditating and meditating for years on end and nothing was happening, many times the moment came when I was so desperate, so hopeless,that I thought to stop all this nonsense. And suddenly I would remember the thief who would say every night, 'God willing, tomorrow it is going to happen.' And my second master was a dog. I was going to the river, thirsty and a dog came. He was also thirsty. He looked into the river, he saw another dog there -- his own image -- and became afraid. He would bard and run away, but his thirst was so much that he would come back. Finally, despite his fear, he just jumped into the water, and the image disappeared. And I knew that a message had come to me from God: one has to jump in spite of all fears. And the third master was a small child. I entered a town and a child was carrying a lit candle. He was going to the mosque to put the candle there. 'Just joking,' I asked the boy, 'Have you lit the candle yourself?' He said, 'Yes sir.' And I asked, 'There was a moment when the candle was unlit, then there was a moment when the candle was lit. Can you show me the source from which the light came?' And the boy laughed, blew out the candle, and said, 'Now you have seen the light going. Where has it gone? You will tell me!' My ego was shattered, my whole knowledge was shattered. And that moment I felt my own stupidity. Since then I dropped all my knowledgeability. It is true that I had no master. That does not mean that I was not a disciple -- I accepted the whole existence as my master. My Disciplehood was a greater involvement than yours is. I trusted the clouds, the trees. I trusted existence as such. I had no master because I had millions of masters I learned from every possible source. To be a disciple is a must on the path. What does it mean to be a disciple? It means to be able to learn. To be available to learn to be vulnerable to existence. With a master you start learning to learn. The master is a swimming pool where you can learn how to swim. Once you have learned, all the oceans
nermeen ahmed kamal نجم الجماهير
عدد الرسائل : العمر : تاريخ التسجيل : 30/07/2008
nermeen ahmed kamal نجم الجماهير
عدد الرسائل : العمر : تاريخ التسجيل : 30/07/2008 Once upon a time there were two screws fastening a vital part of a gasoline engine. One of the screws was haughty and proud of it's shining head. The second screw was quiet, intent only on doing its job to the best of its ability. One day a speck of rust appeared on the head of the second screw. Filled with vain pride of its own beauty, the first screw began to laugh at the second. "Your head is tarnished," the first said to the second. "Look at you. Your perfect luster is gone." The second screw said nothing. Instead, it concentrated on what it was doing. "How ugly you have become," the first screw chortled, "and how beautiful I have remained." Then it began to laugh so hard at the second screw that it failed to notice that it was working itself loose. Finally it dropped off the engine and plunged into a small pool of dirty oil below. With the first screw no longer holding up its end of the load, the second was faced with doing the work of two. Meanwhile the first screw, now covered with grimy oil, wailed and lamented. "Just look at me! I'm dirty and filthy and all my beauty is gone. By laughing at the blemish on my friend the second screw, I worked myself loose and fell into the muck. Now I'm doomed." Now, it just so happened that a short time later the owner of the engine started it up. He immediately noticed that something didn't sound right -- the engine was running rough. When he checked, he instantly saw that one of the two screws holding the vital part was missing. "Ah ha!" the owner said. "One of the screws must have worked itself loose and fell to the ground, but I don't see it. Maybe it fell into that puddle of old oil." The owner reached into the oil and found the missing screw. "Look at you," the owner said. "You're all covered with grime and oil. How ugly you are. But I will fix that right away." The owner reached for a nearby rag and wiped all the oil and grime off the first screw until it shone even brighter than before. Then he replaced it on the part. Before he turned away, he noticed a little speck of tarnish on the head of the second screw. With the second rag, he wiped the head clean and bright. Then the owner walked away. Finally the engine was started. The two screws, now equally beautiful, held the part tight. "Forgive me, my friend," the first screw said to the second. "In my vanity, I was so busy laughing at your blemish that I did not notice that I was working myself loose." "And what have you learned?" the second screw quietly asked. "Thank you, my friend. And rest assured, my vanity will remain forever at the bottom of that dirty puddle ******
nermeen ahmed kamal نجم الجماهير
عدد الرسائل : العمر : تاريخ التسجيل : 30/07/2008
nermeen ahmed kamal نجم الجماهير
عدد الرسائل : العمر : تاريخ التسجيل : 30/07/2008
nermeen ahmed kamal نجم الجماهير
عدد الرسائل : العمر : تاريخ التسجيل : 30/07/2008
nermeen ahmed kamal نجم الجماهير
عدد الرسائل : العمر : تاريخ التسجيل : 30/07/2008 A girl in love asked her boyfriend. Girl: Tell me. Who do you love most in this world? Boy: You, of course! Girl: In your heart, what am I to you? Boy: The boy thought for a moment and looked intently in her eyes and said, "You are my rib. It was said that God saw that Adam was lonely, during his sleep, God took one of Adam's rib and created Eve. Every man has been searching for his missing rib, only when you find the woman of your life, you'll no longer feel the lingering ache in your heart." One day, after the quarrel, the girl ran out of the house. At the opposite side of the road, she shouted, "You don't love me!"The boy hated her childishness and out of impulse, retorted, "Maybe, it was a mistake for us to be together! You were never my missing rib!"Suddenly, she turned quiet and stood there for a long while. He regretted what he said but words spoken are like thrown away water, you can never take it back. With tears, she went home to pack her things and was determined in breaking-up. Before she left the house, "If I'm really not your missing rib, please let me go." She continued, "It is less painful this way. Let us go on our separate ways and search for our own partners." Five years went by... He never remarried but he had tried to find out about her life indirectly. She had left the country and back. She had married a foreigner and divorced. He felt anguished that she never waited for him.In the dark and lonely night, he lit his cigarette and felt the lingering ache in his heart. He couldn't bring himself to admit that he was missing her. Girl: I'm fine. How about you? Have you found your missing rib? Boy: No. Girl: I'll be flying to New York in the next flight. Boy: I'll be back in 2 weeks time. Give me a call when you are back. You know my number. Nothing has changed. With a smile, she turned around and waved good bye. Good bye... One week later, he heard of her death. She had perished in New York, in the event that shocked the world.Midnight, once again, he lit his cigarette. And like before, he felt the lingering ache in his heart. He finally knew. She was the missing rib that he had carelessly
nermeen ahmed kamal نجم الجماهير
عدد الرسائل : العمر : تاريخ التسجيل : 30/07/2008 Once upon a time, there was once a guy who was very much in love with this girl. When he regained his confidence, he worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make something out of himself. Finally with all these hardwork and with the help of friends, this guy had set up his own company... "You never fail until you stop trying." he always told himself. "I must make it in life!" One rainy day, while this guy was driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain walking to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched. It didn't take him long to realise those were his ex-girlfriend's parents. With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan. He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same anymore, he had his own company, car, condo, etc. He had made it in life! Before the guy can realise, the couple was walking towards a cemetary,and he got out of his car and followed them...and he saw his ex-girlfriend, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone... And he saw his precious papercranes in a bottle placed beside her tomb. Her parents saw him. He walked over and asked them why this had happened. They explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was stricken ill with cancer. In her heart, she had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not want her illness to be his obstacle ... Therefore she had chosen to leave him. She had wanted her parents to put his papercranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again he can take some of those back with him. The guy just wept ...the worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them but knowing you can't have them and will never see *******
nermeen ahmed kamal نجم الجماهير
عدد الرسائل : العمر : تاريخ التسجيل : 30/07/2008 THE ORIGINAL QUOTE If you love someone, ********** THE NEW VERSIONS.... . ********** Pessimist: If you love someone, ********** Optimist: If you love someone, ********** Suspicious: If you love someone, ********** Playful: If you love someone, ********** Bill Gates : If you love someone, ********** Finance expert : If you love someone **********
nermeen ahmed kamal نجم الجماهير
عدد الرسائل : العمر : تاريخ التسجيل : 30/07/2008 The story goes that some time ago a mother punished her five year old daughter for wasting a roll of expensive gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and she became even more upset when the child used the gold paper to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree. Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift box to her mother the next morning and then said, "This is for you, Momma." The mother was embarrassed by her earlier over reaction, but her anger flared again when she opened the box and found it was empty. She spoke to her daughter in a harsh manner. "Don't you know, young lady, when you give someone a present there's supposed to be something inside the package?" She had tears in her eyes and said, "Oh, Momma, it's not empty! I blew kisses into it until it was full." The mother was crushed. She fell on her knees and put her arms around her little girl, and she begged her forgiveness for her thoughtless anger. An accident took the life of the child only a short time later, and it is told that the mother kept that gold box by her bed for all the years of her life. Whenever she was discouraged or faced difficult problems she would open the box and take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there. In a very real sense, each of us, as human beings, have been given a Golden box filled with unconditional love and kisses from our children, family, friends and GOD. There is no more precious possession anyone
nermeen ahmed kamal نجم الجماهير
عدد الرسائل : العمر : تاريخ التسجيل : 30/07/2008
nermeen ahmed kamal نجم الجماهير
عدد الرسائل : العمر : تاريخ التسجيل : 30/07/2008
nermeen ahmed kamal نجم الجماهير
عدد الرسائل : العمر : تاريخ التسجيل : 30/07/2008 Once Santa & Banta were travelling along with their friends Monty & Jaggi. On a road surrounded by forests on both sides, their car was attacked by robbers. Santa & his friends were pulled out of the car. The robbers blasted the car and took Santa, Banta and their friends in the middle of the forest where their boss was residing. Banta started telling the funniest joke he had ever heard, "One day........." and when he was finished, everybody were falling with laughter except Santa. So according to the vow, the boss shot poor Banta. Santa said laughing and giggling, "Oh! How funny Banta's joke
nermeen ahmed kamal نجم الجماهير
عدد الرسائل : العمر : تاريخ التسجيل : 30/07/2008 A Mouse who always lived on the land, by an unlucky chance, formed an intimate acquaintance with a Frog, who lived, for the most part, in the water. One day, the Frog was intent on mischief. He tied the foot of the Mouse tightly to his own. Thus joined together, the Frog led his friend the Mouse to the meadow where they usually searched for food. *******
nermeen ahmed kamal نجم الجماهير
عدد الرسائل : العمر : تاريخ التسجيل : 30/07/2008 A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game, took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation. "You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one !", the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........
nermeen ahmed kamal نجم الجماهير
عدد الرسائل : العمر : تاريخ التسجيل : 30/07/2008 Dear Mrs. Fenton, Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and have considered banning the entire family from shopping in any of our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. Three of our clerks are attending counseling from the trouble your husband has caused. All complaints against Mr. Fenton have been compiled and are listed below. Mr. Wally Wal-Mart Complaint Department ------------ --------- --------- ---- MEMO Mr. Bill Fenton Complaints - 15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse/partner is shopping: ********* 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking. ********* 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Homewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. ********* 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. ********* 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in homewares... .. And watched what happened. ********* 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. ********* 6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. ********* 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. ********* 8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks Why can't you people just leave me alone?' ********* 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose. ********* 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are. ********* 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. ********* 12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels. ********* 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" ********* 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!" ********* (And; last, but not least!) 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in
nermeen ahmed kamal نجم الجماهير
عدد الرسائل : العمر : تاريخ التسجيل : 30/07/2008
قصص و فكاهة بالانجليزية.
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السبت 10 يناير 2009, 3:57 am
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